Category Archives: Poems

A mask of silence


Someone’s changed me, something saved me. Oh, this is who I am? 

Although I was blinded, my heart let me found it. A truth makes a better girl.

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How Tinder saved me from a sinking relationship

The field of communication looks fantastic.

Fact is, we have a lot of knowledge in one field, and ethics to fulfill. At least the ones aiming to get a career developed.

Is not that someone like this could actually request a partner to understand and share the same world. Not. In fact this situation will almost never happen… 

What happens is, what we value. We know the value of something, that another don’t.

And, I am sorry, it may just be me. But if there is someone to know when you share a relationship, is that, you want the same kind of loyalty you know how to give. 

Call it whatever you want. But I can’t see myself settling for less than what I deserve. 

If that costs me to never settle with anyone, so be it. 

What I have lived, and what I have seen, only I know. I’m the one wearing my shoes, wherever they might take me. Today to one place, tomorrow to another. Who knows?

I saw my parents get divorced. And I may not know what I want for a relationship, but I know what I don’t want.

I know what I can’t comply with. And honestly, is shameful to say this. But the tools I learned how to use, looks so simple to me. Can’t believe it can’t be seen as simple to another. Am I transmitting the wrong words?

We were together. And suddenly I catch his phone vibrating, he is half asleep and opens the phone to me. I never thought I could find something so disgusting as what I found. Tinder, and a lot of girls who were proudly displayed as a list of contacts. I was forced to laugh. Tricky irony. How can the person get to have someone as a girlfriend, and treat her like this?

That is more than what any real relationship can take. Marriages are destroyed by less than this. Today I can breathe about it, and hopefully it even sounds like poetry.

There is just so much percent someone can calculate to find a definition for a “yes” in their lives.

But it takes a 100% to say “no”

Can you contrast that with the level of stupidity of somebody?

What I learned for life is that the definition of EX, is forever.

Bit of nature

Walking inside the campus this morning, I luckly had a macro lens in my pocket. While I was looking for the best position and angle for a camera, I observed a shy, but not less dangerous bee feeding herself from the red flowers I wanted to put in frame. I quickly changed the lens and tried to get as close as possible from her without making her nervous (I can’t bear to get injured from her attack at this time of year). 

The result: 


a pattern that I like, and we can see she has a furry body 😍

She left me enchanted and I thank her for letting me get this close 🐝💕

#um #umac #bee 

A oportunidade para o bem

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Viver “no exterior” não é uma questão de território, mas sim de estilo de vida. O que acontece é que quem sai uma vez do país, é forçado a entrar nesse modo. Mas você pode entrar no mesmo estilo de vida, sem sair do lugar.

Abrir a mente. Experimentar o diferente é uma habilidade. Além disso, a muito custo sempre exercitei a habilidade de ver o lado bom das coisas. Principalmente porque neste “modo” de vida, você vai ser obrigado a encarar vários desafios. Não é fácil, mas sempre há um lado bom. E imagine que um dia você esteja rodeado por coisas boas em todas as esferas de sua vida? Trabalho, família, amigos, conquistas e saúde?

Tudo já está ótimo. E só melhora.

Sou agradecida aos problemas que enfrentei, pois sei o quanto eles me tornaram a pessoa que sou hoje.

Toda a habilidade, requer prática. É um trabalho árduo e custa muitas decepções, e as vezes desgastes contra você mesmo. Mas por fim, quando você pára para refletir e percebe tudo de bom que construiu ao seu redor, o aprendizado que cada passo fora da sua zona de conforto lhe proporcionou, vê que vale a pena. Sair da zona de conforto, todo dia, alarga nossos horizontes. E aqui não se trata de uma questão territorial, mas ir além em pequenos atos do cotidiano. Trocar o espresso pelo capuccino. A coca pelo chá. O ônibus pela caminhada. Uma coisa hoje, e outra amanhã. E no final de uma semana, verá como construiu! Como seus dias passaram mais devagar e como pôde aproveitar mais. Faça algo por você (ou por alguém que ama) hoje, que o seu “eu” de amanhã poderá olhar pra trás e agradecer pela sua iniciativa. Isso é sair da zona de conforto, olhar além. Criar uma gota de bondade, e acreditar que a onda vai aumentar e fará um bem ainda maior a outra pessoa.

AMO um trecho do livro “Rules for a Knight” de Ethan Hawke que me remonta os meus tempos de escoteira quando era pequena. No livro, segundo um lendário cavaleiro, existe uma batalha terrível entre dois lobos. Um lobo é mau, ele tem ódio, é invejoso, triste, rancoroso, mesquinho, arrogante, sente pena de si, culpa, ressentimento, inferioridade, é mentiroso, tem falso orgulho, superioridade e ego. O outro é bom, ele é alegre, pacífico, amoroso, esperançoso, sereno, humilde, bondoso, benevolente, simpático, generoso, verdadeiro, apaixonado e cheio de fé. Os dois lutam pela sobrevivência, mas apenas um poderá vencer. A mesma batalha acontece dentro de nós. E sabe que lobo irá vencer essa batalha?

Aquele que você alimenta.

Por um dia, se cale a tudo que te impulsionar a agir com raiva, desprezo, frustração. Ignore. Mate de fome o lobo ruim, e se alimente das coisas boas que estão em cada situação ao seu redor.Até mesmo na própria situação ruim, sempre há um lado bom. Se alimente disso.

Ainda estou aprendendo a alimentar o lobo bom todos os dias. E o mais difícil, fechar a boca do faminto e esquelético lobo ruim. Acreditem, quanto mais faminto você deixar ele, mais alto ele vai uivar quando tiver a chance. Alimentar o lobo bom, todo dia, treina-lo e deixa-lo bem gordo. E ajudar aqueles ao meu redor a fazer o mesmo. Quando alguém oferece isca para o meu lobo ruim, custa muito sair da zona de conforto e ter a atitude oposta. Mas todas as vezes que saí feliz de qualquer evento, às custas de muito treinamento, o lobo do bem pulou mais alto para comer a isca.

Cercada por uma sociedade oportunista, fica ainda mais desafiador manter a ética e a moral e conquistar uma vida feliz. Quando o seu lobo da alegria está feliz e bem alimentado, pode desencadear a arrogância e inveja em pessoas ao redor. O desafio aqui de cada dia é não deixar as pessoas tóxicas drenarem a energia da vida feliz que você construiu com tanto empenho. Carpe diem.

Lessons from 2015

[Veja o post em português]

A retrospective of my year to share with you a little bit of this emotional roller coaster that my expat life has became.

2015, a year of spiritual reencounter, personal discovery and love.

A year that has began in a spectacular way, with a short vacation escape to Indonesia. I found out the sweetness of Donkey Donuts (I saw this brand for the first time in Indonesia – yes, forgive me, shame on me, I did not know it before). After an intense year of work, there was nothing more fair than run away from this hustle and bustle, to enjoy the peace and the unique landscapes of a region so full of natural beauty.

Recharge the batteries, and praise to God for all the good things: every friendship, every battle won. In such places I always find peace and the presence of such a positive energy, that goes much beyond our knowledge.

Back to the busy routine, to feel once again the cold weather of Frankfurt and Peking touching my skin. Yes, the year of 2015 brought me so much self discovery that I started to value (even more) each sensation, each moment that this life provides us. From a calm sunset by the seashore in Indonesia, enjoying a drink, to the feeling of having my fingers freezing while walking in the center of Frankfurt, at nightfall, under a drizzle that insists in freeze also my ears… (my nose, I could not feel it anymore)

Another world’s wonder, the Great Wall of China. Together with my Chinese colleagues, I could discover this monument and understand why they call it a “world wonder”. Something I can not put into words, a greatness that is indescribable. Even nowadays people ask me about how was to be at the Great Wall and I only know how to reply with that “poker face”…

After the hustle in Shanghai, I had the pleasure to feel the very hot weather in another 2 different countries in Asia that I haven’t been before, Vietnam and United Arab Emirates. I got to know amazing people in Ho Chi Minh city, Vietnam and realized that despite the problems faced by the country, they have a very happy population, just like Brazil does.

At Dubai, United Arab Emirates, I was at the Burj Khalifa “At the top” (at the top of the world). The highest outdoor observation deck in the world! A tower with more than 828 meters high. From the top of that tower I could realize how big are the little details in our life, and simply wished that the world down there would be filled with love.

 

 

2015,

a year to review many of my concepts. The obligation to refrain from alcohol. A year where I found an incredible resilience. After a first semester emotionally troubled, I conquered an even stronger psychological.

To formalize the second language by conquering the international english certification. And deepen my studies to reach the third language (the HSK3 mandarin certification is a goal for 2016). The persistent battle to keep health for mind and body (and spirit) among so many desires, wishes and responsabilities.

 

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In this last semester, I dedicated myself to return a portion of all the learning I had so far. For so I signed up for the UN volunteer program, where I was picked to help with translation for Issue Papers from UN Habitat III. I could collaborate with 2 Issue Papers about Housing and Transport and Mobility. There were a few sleepless nights, and all the vacant time (specially that hours spent travelling) were dedicated to this project. At the 45 minutes of the second half (28/12/2015) I received the feedback from the institution with regards for my contribution for “enhanced capacity of communities to identify local development priorities and ways to address them“. Can you imagine how happy I am?

2015 also had my frustrating attempt to write a book. After meeting so many amazing people in this journey, (some new friends that just arrive to stay) appeared the desire of putting the heroes I met in real life (and the villains) back to the books. But I realized that for this story to become really good, I needed to meet some other heroes in real life… So the story staid in stand by.

Some struggles, just to show me how much pride does not lead anyone to anything. I opened my eyes for so many bad things surrounding this world and how people get intoxicated trying to get rid from an evil. Sometimes they end up even worst than the bad thing itself. I put into action what my mentors have taught me during this journey, by fighting bad with goodness, and I do not regret anything that I have done during this year of 2015. I entered 2015 full of good things, and I feel that all the good things I have shared, (or some critics that I ignored) if they were not enough to make another happy, at least they did an extremely good repair to my soul.

To complete, in the middle of this turbulence, I met someone so special. I found my heart in a manner that I would have never imagined I would someday… Far from the cliches, I fell in love for a person who lives a life in an even faster pace than I do… What puzzled me, and at the same time disarmed me. A lesson. Suddenly, it was all or nothing. It was a kind of love that needs to be given 100%, every day. Suddenly I went on a state of alert about the brevity of our lives, and that I can not risk to spend a day without acting with 100% of love with those around me. Suddenly there were no doubts. No fears… Some priorities became so trivial. I discovered something much bigger than myself. And before I could consider whether it was love, I realized my heart was already surrendering…

A 2015 that disarmed me and prepared me with even stronger ones for 2016. And hope that the wishes of love, peace, comprehension e mainly happiness will be again present in our lives in this new year to come. Because those who learn how to cultivate happiness inside themselves, will easily find the way to the other virtues.

[Veja o post em português]

A Bela e o Pássaro

Era uma vez uma andorinha que se dizia sem coração. Um dia ela conheceu um passarinho despedaçado e resolveu ajuntar suas peças, sem ele saber. Fazer um mosaico de suas migalhas.

Ela gostava de coisas quebradas. Ele mal sabia que não estava voando.

Para ela, se não houvesse nada quebrado, não havia nada para ser amado. Já havia deixado vários pedaços dela mesma pelo caminho. Mas isso não a destruira. A deixara mais leve. Mais livre. Quanto menos partes, mais pronta para amar alguém com poucos pedaços.

E ela não se preocupara. Podia voar um pouco lascada. E sabia que um dia algum passarinho não iria se importar com seus pedaços a menos.

Aprendendo a juntar os cacos, ela aprendeu a regenerar os próprios. Foi colando as peças. Hora achava um pedaço do passarinho, hora regenerava um dela.

Os outros sabiam que aquilo não dava certo. “Um galho quebrado, nunca é o mesmo” – diziam. Mas ela não se importava. Se não fosse ela, ninguém mais tentaria.

Quando o passarinho se deu conta, não estava mais em pedaços. E agora percebia que mal tentara usar suas asas.
E que alguns de seus cacos eram, na verdade, os dela. Ao alçar voo percebeu que estava inteiro, e que podia voar muito mais alto que a andorinha. Porém, voando alto, os cacos entrelaçados machucavam a andorinha, sem ela saber.

Então ele percebeu que não poderia voar sozinho. Decidiu aproveitar a viagem.

E não revelar para ela que ele havia roubado as suas lascas.

Saudade – an unique word from Portuguese language. A poetry of a deep meaning word

Saudade

Saudade is a feeling.

It is a girl, a female word.

A noun you own, and you feel…

It is a deep nostalgy, sad and happy feelings at the same time.
A hopeful feeling which fills in your heart and mind.

Saudades can come in plural or singular.
It means the same but it feels so different…

It is the certainty that you have lived a happy moment, and now you miss it.
It also brings you the craven wish to go back in time to relive that memory.

It is missing someone…

It means that you don’t want to be apart from someone anymore.

You can “be with” saudade.
Being with saudade means that you posses it.

You can say you feel it, – for a moment – but the state of “being with” saudades it’s deeper and means that it is really following you.
No matter where you go, or who you are with, “saudade” is also there.
To have” saudade, kind of means you own it. But for sure it’s not something you feel proud of having conquered.
It more often means somebody else owns – or stole – a piece of you.

That explains why we say that we have saudades “from” someone…

Moreover, you can kill saudade.
Literally kill it.

Just like thirst is killed by drinking,
saudade is killed by meeting again the person you missed. But be careful, once it is dead, it will reborn.
Stronger

Though sometimes you are unable to kill it as you can not go back in time or the beloved thing may be too far away from your sight – but not from your heart.

But for the faithful knows,
saudade will not last forever.